23/01/2013

underdogs bite upwards

So you’re on a train passing through Siberia, it’s minus 40 outside (C or F, it’s the same at that point), and you decide to go out to the open area between carriages for a smoke.

Since you’re a smoker, thus fully acclimatised to being outside in all weathers, you wear a T-shirt, shorts and slippers. The antismoking drones will still call you weak.

Instead of ending up between carriages, you open the wrong door, tumble out into the frozen Siberian wilderness from a moving train, then run after that train for just over four miles (7 km) until you reach a tiny station. Still wearing, remember, a T-shirt, shorts and slippers. And it’s still -40. And you’re in the Siberian wilderness where large hungry things will eat you. And you’re a smoker and therefore incapable of running at all. And… you suffer no ill effects whatsoever, requiring nothing more…

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